Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
