I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
