you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I enjoy the company of your penis
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
