Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
