im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
