I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
