No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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