I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
