her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize
