If that was your dad, he is hot
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize