I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
