Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
