She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I am one with the molecules
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
