I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
