You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
