we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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