Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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