this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Randomize
