so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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