Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
