I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
