why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
