Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
