You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just threw up on my dentist
I wish they made helmets for livers.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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