Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
