I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
