dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
