im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
i out mim tonsoeep
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