when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
no you cant smoke seaweed
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize