How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
we're so committed to being not committed
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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