VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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