Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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