Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i think i have two assholes
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
