i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Randomize