there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
