What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
