So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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