he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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