Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize