D3 body, D1 cock
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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