How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Randomize
