my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
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Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
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WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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