Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize