There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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