Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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