when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
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It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
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Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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