dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
