He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
