For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
