Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
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we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I want her autograph on my taint
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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