youre lurking in front of me
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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