Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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